


Have You Lost Your Damn Mind?!

by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)



Series: Spreading Positivity 2020 [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Coffee, Coffee addicts, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Domestic Fluff, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Stiles Stilinski is a Nice Thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23195425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasterella/pseuds/isthatbloodonhisshirt
Summary: Derek scowled at the screen, positive it was laughing at him. Or mocking him or something. He didn’t know how the television could mock him, but he was sure it had found a way. Stiles had probably taught it how to mock him.That, or his repeated exposure to Stiles meant he now firmly believed the TV was sentient and thus able to mock him. Honestly, of the two theories, the latter seemed more plausible.Then again...Terminatorand all that...No, this was definitely due to repeated exposure to Stiles. Good thing he was cute, otherwise there would be farlessexposure.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Spreading Positivity 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667605
Comments: 30
Kudos: 930





	Have You Lost Your Damn Mind?!

There was nothing interesting to watch on TV. Literally nothing. They had hundreds of channels, on top of Netflix and Disney+ and like, four other programs that he was paying for because Stiles liked watching garbage, and yet when Derek sat down to watch it, there was nothing on. It was like they were all whispering behind his back, laughing whenever he dared approach the couch, and then collectively decided to have _nothing on_. 

Derek scowled at the screen, positive it was laughing at him. Or mocking him or something. He didn’t know how the television could mock him, but he was sure it had found a way. Stiles had probably taught it how to mock him.

That, or his repeated exposure to Stiles meant he now firmly believed the TV was sentient and thus able to mock him. Honestly, of the two theories, the latter seemed more plausible.

Then again... _Terminator_ and all that...

No, this was definitely due to repeated exposure to Stiles. Good thing he was cute, otherwise there would be far _less_ exposure. 

Actually, no. Probably not. Even if he hadn’t fallen in love with the moron, Stiles always showed up uninvited, so whether he wanted him around or not, it would’ve been inevitable for him to show up. Stiles was just like that, Derek had long ago gotten used to it. 

He was in the process of changing channels for the fourth time in as many minutes when he heard the Jeep rumbling towards the loft. Thank God, that meant Stiles was home and the television would finally cooperate and actually provide him with something entertaining to watch. 

That, or he could just watch his boyfriend. Stiles was very nice to watch, especially when he was doing homework for his more complicated university courses. He got really focussed, with his eyes bright, a pen between his teeth, and one foot bouncing. Derek felt like he could sit there and watch him do homework for hours. 

Which, now that he thought about it, was probably weird. But he supposed it was the wolf in him. After all, he could sit still for hours and wait for prey to cross his path before pouncing. In some ways, Stiles was his prey, and he loved sitting there watching him.

It sounded like Stiles might’ve had a bad day though, because he was swearing up a storm while climbing out of the Jeep, slamming the door hard and stomping to the entrance. Derek heard the door downstairs slam and cocked an eyebrow, looking at the loft door from his spot on the couch. 

A few angry stomps up the stairs later, the loft door slid open and Stiles’ eyes sought him out immediately. They burned with fury and he slammed the loft door shut, Derek frowning, unsure of what he could’ve _possibly_ done from the couch to piss him off so much. 

He’d still been sleeping when Stiles left for class this morning, and they hadn’t texted all day because Stiles had warned him he had an exam and didn’t want to accidentally get distracted. Derek literally couldn’t have done _anything_ to warrant such a heated look. 

“Have you lost your damn mind?!” Stiles demanded, stomping across the loft and dropping his messenger bag on the floor by the table when he passed it. He planted himself in front of Derek, crossing his arms and radiating annoyance. “How could you?!” 

“Care to enlighten me?” Derek asked calmly, setting the remote down and eyeing Stiles slightly to determine how truly furious he was. Stiles was definitely _annoyed_ , but not the levels of rage he seemed to be expressing on his face. Not based on his scent, anyway. 

“I went to make coffee this morning,” Stiles informed him, and Derek’s first reaction was a panicked thought that they were out of coffee. Except, no, they weren’t out of coffee. Derek himself had made coffee this morning, so they definitely weren’t out of coffee. 

“Okay,” he said, waiting for the reason behind Stiles’ anger. 

“Went to brew it and everything. Got it all ready to go, put it in a travel mug, went on my merry way. Halfway to school, I finally take a sip of what should’ve been sweet, _sweet_ nectar, and you know what I got a mouthful of instead?” 

Derek was lost, because it literally couldn’t be _anything_ but coffee.

“Coffee?” he asked, just because he didn’t know what else to say. 

“Oh no!” Stiles insisted, wagging a finger in Derek’s face. “Oh no, Derek! Not coffee! Not the sweet nectars of the Gods, no! No, instead, I got dirty water!” 

Derek frowned. “Was the machine broken? It worked fine when I went to—”

“You bought _decaf_ , Derek!” Stiles insisted, flailing his arms dramatically. “Decaf! Do you have any idea how _useless_ decaf is?! I might as well drink _water_!” 

“You could do with drinking more water, all you seem to drink is Red Bull and coffee, it’s not good for you.” 

It occurred to Derek that that probably wasn’t Stiles’ point, considering the wide-eyed, angry look those words earned him. 

Right. Decaf. He’d probably defiled the sanctity of their coffee machine or something by daring to put something other than a real man’s coffee that had their eyes watering just smelling it. Really, if Stiles actually got some _sleep_ every now and then, he wouldn’t need to survive on a diet of Red Bull and coffee.

And chocolate and candy and chips and wow, Derek really needed to start policing Stiles’ eating habits, he was going to kill himself living off that junk. 

“How could you do this to me, Derek?” Stiles demanded, some of the fight leaving him before he fell dramatically onto the couch, covering his face with both hands. “I barely survived the day. I was _dying_ , Derek! Decaf coffee, for fuck’s sake, were you _trying_ to kill me?” 

“If I was, clearly it didn’t work,” he said with a smile tugging the corners of his lips. When Stiles parted his fingers to glare at him, Derek just stared right back, trying not to let the smile take over _too_ much. 

“I hate you,” Stiles said, with feeling. “Hate you _so_ much.” 

“Oh, then I guess that macaroni and cheese bake I’ve got in the oven can just go in the garbage.” Derek went to stand up, but Stiles flailed and immediately grabbed at his arm, yanking him back down onto the couch. 

“Okay, you’re forgiven.” He leaned over to kiss his cheek, as if to distract him from the words he’d said mere moments before. “But buy decaf again, and you’re sleeping on the couch.” 

Derek turned slightly so that he could lean over Stiles, forcing him to lie back on the couch and moving slowly so he was on top of him, bracing his weight against his forearms on either side of Stiles’ head while slowly bending down to kiss his lips lightly. 

“If you want to make sure you get the right coffee,” Derek said in a low, deep voice, lowering himself to kiss Stiles again before sliding his lips along his cheek so he could whisper in his ear, “then you can do the grocery shopping.” 

“Oh fuck you!” Stiles insisted, shoving at him, even as Derek laughed and let his weight fall fully onto Stiles, crushing him beneath his considerable bulk. 

Stiles’ attempts at escape were half-hearted at best before he gave up with a deep sigh. Derek just smiled into his neck, and hoped that decaf didn’t affect his ability to stay awake. 

Stiles would _absolutely_ make him sleep on the couch if he burned their macaroni and cheese bake. 

**END.**

**Author's Note:**

> Teen Wolf (c) Jeff Davis  
> Terminator (c) James Cameron
> 
> Come chill with me on [Tumblr](https://isthatbloodonhisshirt.tumblr.com/).


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